12 Signs that you are READY to meet your Soul-mate

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In my intuitive coaching practice, women often ask me when they will find love.

Although I may stray away from answering this question directly, I can clearly see not only what it is that’s blocking a woman from attracting love, but how close a woman’s vibration is to attracting her soul-mate.

You see, what women don’t realize is that when their soul & body is completely in alignment and ready for partnership, love will magnetically find her. It’s not what we “do” to attract love that matters, it’s who we become. Yet the other hidden secret is that there’s much we could do to ready our inner being.

This comes partially from resolving the inner divides and parts of ourselves that are out of alignment with the truth of who we are.  When a woman becomes fully in alignment with herself, and steps into the life she was meant to become, the universe listens and responds in magical ways.

12 signs that a woman is about to attract her soulmate
1. Her dreams will be more pleasurable, more creative and energetic. She will dream more and for some the dreams will be colorful. She may experience dreams of love, even if it’s in the form of a pet or aspects of a past lover.

2. Prior to finding “the one,” she’ll date men who have more of the attributes she’s looking for in a partner than she has found in the past. Perhaps she’ll date men that are more accomplished, respect her more as a woman, men she converses well with and finds the dynamic easy and playful.

3. Many of the people she used to consider “friends” will begin to feel more distant. She may even feel the need to complete some of her relationships altogether. This is because her vibrational set point is changing at a rapid rate, and the vibration she attracted friends of the past with is now outdated and she is ready to call in a new, higher (or different) vibration of friends. She may feel a temporary state of isolation that she surprisingly finds comfort with. For this allows her to focus inwards even more.

4. The external validation from others that she needed in the past will no longer be needed. She feels comfortable enough from within that she doesn’t need to go to the next party looking super hot to get the accolades she craves. Or be complimented for her efforts at work.

5. The woman will loose interest in dating. She’ll get so absorbed into her own passions and goals that her focus and interest will be turned away from finding “the one.”

6. The woman will have final completion or forgiveness with men of the past. This includes her father and past lovers. All mental and physical contracts will be compete, leaving within her a space of resolution and peace.

I spent about 2 years trying to get my name off of a real estate deal I co-signed with a past lover. And my partner was ending a grueling divorce case with his X that took over a year. It was June 2016 that both of us finalized the ending of these contracts and literally the week after he signed the dotted line of his divorce papers, we decided to move in together and take our relationship to the next level.

7. There will be a shift in her relationship with her parents. Although they may not see or sense the change, the triggers that used to be there will no longer have as much power over you. You care less about trying to have them see you a certain way because you have become more comfortable in who you are.

8. The woman will find a new found sense of clarity in what it is she truly wants where she realizes she doesn’t have to settle for less or compromise. In other words she gets clear about what it is and then begins to step into the belief that she really can have it.

For myself, because I was 43 and still struggling to find love, I realized I would just have to settle for never having a family of my own and by this age, most men I dated already had a child or children of their own and that I’d just have to learn to accept the role of step mom. However, when I turned 44 (just before meeting my soul-mate), I realized I wanted a man that was fully available for me and didn’t have to divide his time between me and another. I got clear that I was worthy of finding a man who wanted to fully devote himself to me and even the possibility of creating a family with me.

9. She will have less concern as to what other’s think. She’ll speak her mind more freely with less attachment as to the outcome. She will begin to tap into a subtle yet divine force of will or power from within.

10. Sex- Although the woman may be very open to sex, she won’t “need” sex or sexuality. This is because her 2nd chakra needs are fulfilled through the exploration and utilization of her creativity, passion, and through activities that help her to move this energy (such as exercise).

11. She will feel more settled in her home. Men want a place to “nest.” A symbolic lap to lay their head down upon when days are tiresome.

I spent 5 years remodeling the interior of my home, painting and repainting my walls. Finally the day came when I felt complete. Now love will find me I thought. However, a few months later I rented out my home and the guy who rented it said everything in my house was great except it lacked a bedside lamp on both sides of the bod.

I spent the next couple of weeks finding the perfect lamp. Then one morning I woke up at 6am, I knew where to go to buy this lamp. I hopped into my car, and bought this lamp, set it by my bedside and wala, it fit perfectly. That afternoon, I spontaneously decided to call a new guy friend and see if he was free for a hike. This was the first day of the relationship with my 1st love.

12. The woman’s heart or 4th Chakra will begin to open more. She’ll feel a renewed sense of love for herself and others. A greater sense of generosity.

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I might add, this list above applies primarily to woman in their 30’s and 40’s who are stepping forward in some way shape or form into their spiritual path.

Speaking with your True Voice

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The Bay area is a conglomeration of people searching for deeper purpose and meaning. On any given night, there are so many events happening on meetup, eventbrite, facebook and other social media sites that we get at times overwhelmed with how best to spend our time and the direction to turn our attention, both personally as well as in career.

In this article, I’m going to specifically focus on the competing voices within side yourself and our quest towards finding our own unique voice. (The topic of life purpose will be saved for a future blog).

In our earliest years our beliefs, biases, filters, and preferences were all shaped my those closest to us. Every thought, every twitch, every flutter of our waking brain was set in accordance with the world around us. Our first few months of life, we hadn’t even the foggiest notion that our thoughts and identity was any other than that of our mother’s.

As we enter adulthood, so many of these same voices and beliefs still remain, hidden in the doorways of our subconscious. They have become so intricately woven into the fabric of our persona that it becomes difficult to differentiate the voice of others verses those of our own. Eventually, these voices may even begin to function as mini parts and personalities within side ourselves and at times may even have us feel segmented and confused.

For some of us, the voices may come in the parental form of telling us how we’re not Ok as we are and how we “should” be instead. “You should work forty hours a week,” “you should have a career,” “you should be married by now,” “you should own a house,” “you should….” 
 
Other parts may act to protect us.

Regardless of who or where these competing voices and parts originated from, they may act to pull us out of our alignment and make career and life choices that we may have made otherwise. They act to weaken the direction that our ships wish to sail and the end goal it wishes to attain.

Perhaps we’re still listening to the voices of old, which speak to us about urgency and perfectionism. Perhaps they are the critical voices who find all sorts of reasons for why weare falling short and need to put more pressure onto ourself for being the way that we are.

As we reach post adolescence, it becomes even more crucial as we develop ourselves to discover the true nature of our own distinct voice. Whatever the voices are doing or saying, there may be value, for the truth of our identities, to parse out where and from whom these voices came from. 
 
It’s as simple at looking at a conflict or decision and asking yourself, “who’s voice is that?” And then recognizing, “oh that sounds like my mother’s beliefs and voice.” For our subconscious doesn’t recognize any voice as being separate from our own.

One of the next steps to taking charge of these voices is to begin to include them as opposed to exclusion and pushing them away. It’s so often those people whom we’ve created energetic walls and barriers against (in resentment or resistance), whose unfortunate traits we’ll be the most prone to magnetize and repeat.

No matter how much we try to push away and avoid being anything like our mother and father, we’ll suddenly find ourselves being a parent ourselves and using the same actions or behaviors as our parents once did when trying to raise our own offspring. Or will find ourselves living out the same patterns, conflicts and tragedies of our same sex parent. Living with an avoidant or absent partner, facing financial hardships, being a single mom, etc.

Of course you won’t have 100% of the same circumstances and conflicts, yet just enough. .

In childhood, we created our own rule books of how we “should” act and behave in the world in order to receive the love and approval from mom or dad and avoid disapproval. Perhaps we learned that we “should” take care of mom because mom was at times helpless or weak, or perhaps we learned that we needed to work harder and excel to receive dad’s approval. As we get older, for most of us, these rule books and “shoulds” are no longer appropriate. We have outgrown them.

We may at times have thoughts like “we should be on time for work,” or “we should keep our promises.” Most everyone has some spectrum of obligation of the sort. Yet the issue becomes when the should’s have a catalytic trigger upon you that has a negative impact upon your body’s physiologic state. Causing the back of your throat to tighten and your body to contract with just the mere thought of them.

As we evolve our consciousness and get more and more aligned with our truth, it will get easier to decipher the energy and voices of others vs. our own. It’s then that you can begin to take charge of who’s really running the show. The show of your life that is.

With practice you can begin to recognize the different voices from one another and discern who’s voice has your best interest at heart and each of these parts intended positive motive. Knowing that all these parts are all a part of you, the only next option is integration. For integration will allow you to feed the needs of each of the individual parts, which in the end will give you all the power you need to live. It’ll give you the power to claim whose voice to listen to, and which voices to dim.

Once you parse out whose voices are speaking in your head, it’s time to integrate all your voices. True alignment comes when all the different voices and parts of yourself see the end goal and work together to getting there. In the end, although these voices may have originated throughout socialization, in the end they’re all still your voice.

You were ONE when your were born and your journey through life is one of reunification.

A Gentle Alternative to Alleviating Pain

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Do you struggle with that old back or neck pain that just won’t go away?
Or a sway in your spine that you’ve been told you need an adjustment to correct?
Or difficulty sleeping at night due to pain or insomnia?

If so, I’ve got the modality for you……

Feldenkrais!

Named after the founder, Moshe Feldenkrais. Ukrainian born (1904–1984), an Israeli physicist and engineer who initially devised his system to rehabilitate a recurring knee injury aggravated by years spent practicing judo and playing soccer.

You see, most people by the time they reach adulthood have developed such deeply ingrained habits of holding certain musculature, inhibiting our breath, and walking with our weight much more over to one side than the other, that we don’t even know who we are without such habits. We could easily ignore such habits and patterns and put little importance on them. Until they result in pain that is.

Such holding patterns will overtime result in the over utilization of certain muscle groups, and the under utilization of others. This is the root cause of most overuse injuries.

Old injuries, fears, traumas, or environmental factors could likely have caused such habits to form in the first place. Perhaps we looked down at a laptop for so many years or sat with our back’s slouched in our chairs as we worked. Or perhaps we believed we were never good enough and sat with our head held low and our chest caved in. Whatever the cause may be, the good news is that at any stage of chronicity or severity, change is very possible, and can be more pleasurable than you’d ever expect.

Chronic pain always comes with chronic muscular tension. When we alleviate the muscular tension, so often the pain just magically disappears.

I see the work I do as a Feldenkrais practitioner as a way of releasing such habits in order to discover or unravel the truth of whom we truly are. It’s amazing to witness, once a person releases the excessive holding and tensing of their musculature, an emotional release usually follows. It’s a gift to be there to witness such a moment of profound self discovery.

As clients get up from my Feldenkrais table (which looks like a massage table), their spines are much straighter, they distribute weight through both feet evenly, and they have a felt sense of peace, calm and spaciousness inside. Most clients report sleeping incredibly well after sessions. Most also report their pain is alleviated at the sessions end.

Over the past couple weeks, I’ve treated a client(s) with a stroke, ALS, knee ligament injury, low back pain, carpal tunnel, Stomach abscess, anxiety, insomnia, foot injury, nerve radiating pain, tennis elbow, and symptoms of generalized stress.

In a 1:1 “hands on” session (called Functional Integration), the Practitioner will perform slow, gentle guided touch that has an extraordinary impact on the nervous system. Reorganizing the bones, muscles, and ligaments of your body.

A similar effect can be experienced through a Feldenkrais class (called Awareness Through Movement), where the teacher guides you to perform slow gentle movements in a sequential order. There are over 1000 lessons so do not be surprised if you never experience the same lesson twice.